About me:
I'm Stephi, or Stephanie, and can't stand being called "Stephie" and dislike being called "Steph."
Here are some things I call myself:
Predictably unpredictable: I was "that really quiet girl whose voice none of us have heard" until 8th grade, and "that really loud girl whose voice we never stop hearing" from 8th-10th grade. And now? I'm kind of capable of both, but how I act fluctuates daily and says nothing about how I feel.
Pianist: I've played many instruments: violin, zither, recorder, guitar. But I mostly consider myself a pianist who is half-classically-trained-in-voice-but-not-really. I've been playing the piano for ten years, and I hope to major in Piano Performance later on, and if not, then Music Education.
Poet: Even though I'm not very skilled at it, I used to write incredibly often, and I tried all sorts of writing before I found that poetry suited me the best. Perhaps it's not skilled, but it's me, and the only thing I can bring to poetry that no one else can is not skill, or talent, but me. So I hope that counts for something, if not for anyone else, then for myself.
Worrier: I overanalyze everything and I dwell on them and make myself miserable. I have panic attacks periodically, sometimes frequently depending on stress, and I'm insecure. I always doubt myself in situations and relationships of all sorts, because I don't see myself as worthy of patience.
Friend: I will always try to be there for my friends when they're in need, and even with people who aren't my friends, or people whom I dislike, if you need something, I will most likely still try to get it to you. I've stayed up many nights with people in attempts to help them, and though I know people come and go, I've learned that even though more hellos mean more goodbyes, the joy is worth the sorrow in the end.
Observer: Did I mention overanalyzing, curious, never bored because I'm always wrapped up in my thinking or watching?
Dreamer: I'm often criticized as air-headed, clueless, unable to focus, unWILLING to focus, etc. Which might be true sometimes, but I just have the tendency to inadvertently tune out the world or whatever is going on as I enter worlds in my mind where things will never happen or will happen over and over, or both. I acknowledge to myself that I want a never-ending list of what I can never have, but I allow myself the freedom to explore those desires inside my mind.
Scarred: Because who isn't?
Not understood: Because humans will never fully understand each other anyway. However, I can't help but feel like it's particularly more so with certain kinds of people, and as someone who feels so much who isn't capable of showing it, and as someone who, when she IS capable of showing it, is too insecure to show it, or who is most often turned away once the "darker" side is seen... it's particularly isolating, really.
Reader: Ever since I was little, I was known as "that girl who always has a book." I was on a first-name basis with librarians, never needed my library card because they knew me, and it's still second nature to me to be able to read while walking, eating, or some other obscure activity. Nowadays, I don't have the luxury of time to read nearly as much as before (I would borrow multiple books per day and have them finished... daily), but I still feel so absolutely content and understood and excited when reading that I know it's always going to be something different for me. I will always see characters as something beyond fictional figments of imagination, and the lessons that come from literature are taken as if they were learned from my real life (which is actually extremely typical and boring, and is made complicated only by my useless concerns.)
I could follow up this list with more, but I'll let you decide for yourself.
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